Sunday, April 24, 2011

Dead foot skin towel....remains The Best Easter EVER.

Let me preface this story with this:

I share this story with you at GREAT embarrassment to myself (and my cousin) It covers almost everything a girl should NOT do. BUT it is by far one of the funniest things to happen in my family and must be shared. So here you are…

It is Easter Day, Me, my Brother…we’ll call him “Mot” and my cousin…"Ekim” just finished a HUGE dinner at my other cousin "Irol's" house. We come back to my apartment to relax…Mot is watching a race on TV and Ekim is reading. So I find this a good time to catch up some much needed foot maintenance. I bust out the cheese grater contraption and file all my dead skin worries away into a towel on the floor. I take the towel outside and dump what dead skin I can into the bushes and throw the towel on top of the washer, and go on about my life.

Fast forward to a couple hours later….

The big dinner has kicked in for all of us…Mot is sleeping in a turkey/pie coma in the bedroom and Ekim is in the bathroom…well you know. And I have a bubbling stomach…BAD. I go into the bedroom where Mot is sleeping soundly to get something and “let one slip”. It was bad…really smelled like feet and burnt corn chips.

So I jet out into the hallway giggling and run into the kitchen.

As soon as I get in the kitchen Ekim comes walking up the hallway and SCREAMS "OH! MY! GOD!!!!! WHAT! WHAT IS THAT!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
Apparently I wafted into the hallway a bit…

So he runs into the kitchen frantically looking for something to mask the smell, I am roaring laughing which wakes up Mot, who gets up to see what all the commotion is about.
Ekim can’t find anything, so he grabs the first thing he could find to cover his face…that’s right. He grabs the dead foot skin towel from on top of the washer to cover his mouth to breathe in.

My response to this was not: “OH EKIM, NO! Not that towel it has dead skin foot chunks in it!”

My response was: slam to the floor crying laughing and pointing…

He realizes what he is LAUGHING AND BREATHING into and immediately starts puking in the trash can.

To which my response is: pee my pants on the kitchen floor. Everywhere. Which makes him puke more.

Mot is totally confused, looking at his sister laughing hysterically in a puddle of pee and his cousin throwing up in the trash can.

Ekim hates me at this point so after a good time spent laughing I get cleaned up and come back out to face him. We decide lets all go out for a smoke and analyze how this incident happened.

We meet my neighbors Zot and Moe out there and they want to hear the story! So I begin to tell them. But with the incident still being fresh, I couldn’t get through it without peeing my pants AGAIN…right there in the hallway on the cement. Not my proudest moments but even typing this, I am laughing.

This story is dedicated to Mo - Jon Bowman. Thank you for being a dear friend to many. You are truly missed by more people than you ever imagined.


Anonymous said...

Holy crap ... your diagrams add extra insult to injury and show a great sequence of events.... It is only better because I know all of you and I understand how it could happen. TOOOOO FUNNY

steven said...


Malina said...

Thank you Steven XO