Wednesday, February 24, 2010

DUDE...yup, Its weird work guy, everybodies got one...

Ok, I used to work with this guy, everyone works with one of “these guys”. This one was EXTRA SPECIAL, VERY SPECIAL….and WEIRD.

Let me clarify some things for you before you read on…
Here are some of his special qualities -

• We don’t require a “Disclaimer” on the bottom of our emails. He did this ON HIS OWN.
• He wore only sweater vests.
• Him being Pakistani had NOTHING to do with his weirdness.So don’t send me hate mails! He was born here and I work with 6 other Paki’s and Indians in my department, and love them. It was just him, and the feeling was group wide.
• He was THAT GUY, he used a million words when he could have just used 2. Words like “absquatulation”, “anti-disestablishment” & “innuendo”…NONE of these words have anything to do the line of work we are in. They should not be applied in any situation! “innuendo” seriously? We work in IT Finance, at multi-billion dollar company! But he found a way…
• He was a suck up…bad. I assume to over compensate for lying on his resume and getting into a position he was not qualified for. (yes this is verified)
• He was very irate; he would yell and act crazy in the middle of office, then not hear a peep from him for days.
• We didn’t get along…yes I know how could someone not get along with me, right? but it wasnt just me. I ignored him and didn’t even make eye contact for over a year and when I did have contact with him it didn’t go well.
• He got fired. And now that I feel enough time has passed that I won’t get shot in the parking lot…I share this with you.

Because I am NOT TOTALLY retarded I have changed his name (although still similar) and all address and reference’s to my workplace.

So – this is the chunk that would be attached to EVERY single email he sent.

Naathim Shirshirchandra
Business Analyst II
1600 Amphitheatre Parkway
Mountain View, IL 60012 (ILLINOIS)
United States of America
Naathim.Shirshirchandra@nunya.com (e-mail address)

*If we don’t know what state that is or know that’s an email address we probably are not qualified to be operating a computer or work in the positions we are in.

And here is his personalized unnecessary disclaimer:

“IMPORTANT: This e-mail and/or any attached document(s) contain information that may be confidential, legally privileged and/or otherwise protected from disclosure to anyone other than its intended recipient(s). In the event that you are not the intended recipient, you may not read, copy, distribute and/or use this information. If this message is received in error, then immediately notify the sender via reply e-mail and delete the message without disclosure. Electronic-based communications cannot be guaranteed to be timely, secure, error or virus-free. Nothing authored in this e-mail from
Mr. Naathim Shirshirchandra shall constitute an Electronic Signature or give legal effect under 44 U.S.C 3504 § 1707.”

Mr.? Really? And where the F did you find this nonsense? You stole it from someone else’s email that doesn’t work here didn’t you! DIDN’T YOU!

Here is the email I sent to my co-worker notifying him of myyyy new disclaimer for emails.

Hello Coworker,
I, BigButter Heysus (no middle name it’s a family thing, just ask me and I can send you another email where I referenced myself priory to not having a middle name on November 11 of the prior year to this year (2009) on the 2008) *Please reference here for an explanation of calendars.
Nevertheless, I have instituted a new disclaimer for my email. When I speak of email let me clarify my clarification, I mean correspondence between myself and other co-workers here at WORKPLACE INC. located at 1600 Amphitheatre Parkway, Mountain View, IL 60012 U.S.A (the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA)


IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: This email is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes as an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word “absquatulation” has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, although the Yorkshire terrier next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft: However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites and place it in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Whisk briefly and let it stand for 2 hours before icing. Nothing authored in this e-mail, on this day in history from Ms. BigButter Heysus (yes you must preface my name with Ms.) shall constitute an Electronic Signature or give legal effect under 44 U.S.C. 3504 §1707 sucka face. *Repeatedly using the word “innuendo” instead of “suggested” or “implied” may result in a beating to the face and neck area & being sent back to the 8th grade to re-take Grammar in the English language. *Yelling at Ms. BigButter will only result in you looking like a complete psycho, and will cement the fact that no one will befriend you. EVEN if you run up to the new girl and say “Hi I am Naathim, you should be friends with me, not them, do you know where the vending machines are? No, ok it’s ok you don’t have to find them, I have snacks in my drawer”. This is not only NEEDY, INSANE and UNSTABLE behavior but a bit scarey to small Indian women.


Thank you,
BigButter "No Middle Name" Heysus
WORKPLACE, INC.
1600 Amphitheatre Parkway, Mountain View, IL 60012 (ILLINOIS, it’s the state below Wisconsin)
U.S.A (UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, it’s the country below Canada)
619-555-0000 (phone number)
BBH@nunya.com (email address)
Mother maiden name “Ain’t Proper”

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

So ya say your a germaphobe.....I see your germiness and raise you 1

Cohabitating with family is always a treat. My cousin Ekim is one of my very best friends and has always amused me. Our moms, Aunts & Grandma are always nervous when we are together…WHAT WILL THEY GET INTO NOW.

So I have complied a series of Ekim & Err (that’s what he calls me) short stories…

The “Dead Foot Skin Towel” incident triggered a slew of pranks within our apartment.

Here is one of many…We always had this battle with the laundry. Ya see, Ekim is a bit of a germaphobe. This is where the problem started. He didn’t mind taking the clothes from the washer and putting them in the dryer BUT would leave all my freshly washed and CLEAN underwear and bras in the washer to rot. Because he didn’t want to touch them! We have gone around and around about this.

Me: Ekim! Don’t leave my shit in the washer to rot! I have to wash it all over again!

Ekim: I can’t touch it.

Me: They are CLEAN! They are in THE WASHER!

Ekim: I can’t.

Me: Put a sock on your damn hand and put them in the dryer.

Ekim: I can’t.

Me: They were in the washer WITH YOUR STUFF mingling around!
Ekim: NOPE, I can’t.

Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Fine!

I work a 7am – 4pm shift. Ekim is working from about 3pm – 7am LONG HOURS. At this freight place.

So one day I get home from work, go to the washer and find a picked through pile of soaking wet underwear and bras sittin in the washer….I’ve HAD IT.
Knowing he is a germaphobe and won’t touch my girly garments, I decide I will MAKE HIM.
I take every bra & underwear I own, and stuff them in his bed, deep in the sheets, in his pillow cases…EVERYWHERE. Giggling and feeling satisfied that I have created a fabulous prank, I go to bed. Dreaming of how funny it will be when he gets home tomorrow morning and he will HAVE to touch my undies to get in his precious bed after his long shift.

I go to work the next day, didn’t hear from him…weird….I come home…his room is clean…no undies…no bras…what the BEANS & FRANKS IS GOING ON!?

I go in to my bedroom…and realize I have lost my battle. This germaphobe freak has put on rubber gloves; pick up every garment, and TAPED THEM TO MY CEILING! Along with TP’ing my room in 4 rolls of paper.
The mirror has “GERMS” written on it in blue tape and he has left the rubber gloves on my bed.
Ok ya haa haa, he got me. So I try to pull a pair of undies down from the ceiling…I can’t! They are not dangling so I could REACH them OH NOOOOO. He thought this out! He knew my short ass would try to stand on my bed and get them down so he didn’t put any in a radius around my bed.
He won’t be home until tomorrow morning…so I have to go across the hall and ask my lovely neighbors to “help me”….they laughed so freaking hard and we have been great friends ever since.
Repercussion to this coming soon…..

Sunday, February 21, 2010

I only hook up at 1ft - 4ft in the air, I get more points that way...

I don’t make a habit of talking to people much on flights after my experience on a 6am New Year’s Day flight several years ago. I was sitting with an older couple from Green Bay, WI. They were covered head to toe in Green Bay Packer paraphernalia; they shared their excitement with me about this being their first time on a plane…EVER. I was hung-over, BAD. I could smell the vodka seeping out of my pours but they didn’t seem to mind that I had not slept all night and just partied until I got on the plane at 6am. Still drunk, Guido hair still done up and a layer of makeup that did not seem to make sense with the sweat pants and hoodie I was now wearing. I was still covered in glitter and a nights worth of bad decisions but, I stayed awake while they showed me pictures of their 4 kids, grand kids and pets.
While sharing a pb & j sandwich she had packed from home in wax paper, I learned they are retired, she likes to knit, collects dolls, she loves her new lawn ornament that her husband made in his workshop, bakes treats, still enjoys the lost art of letter writing, he like likes sports, Letterman, recently got a John Deere….all on a 2 hour plane trip. They were a super sweet Midwest couple and I hope I will be that happy when I am old. Lesson learned – You can get drunk and do stupid shit but god and the airlines know each other and will make YOU PAY one jelly sammich at a time..
So when I was about 26 yrs old I was on a red-eye, Southwest flight from Las Vegas to Nashville. The flight was less than half full and this super dorky guy kept trying to talk to me. He looked like every other middle-aged guy traveling for business. He had what I call the “IT Guy Body” (orby middle section, slumped down shoulders and skinnnny arms because they just look at porn and play games never getting movement beyond their wrists) the work logo windbreaker jacket, polo shirt, khakis, appropriate shoes and an overall look of “I hate my life”…

We were flying over an unbelievable thunderstorm and I just wanted to look out the window and watch the storm from above the clouds, but he kept bugging me and moved into the seat next to me. He was asking me stupid questions and I was trying to be polite but was just answering yes, no or oh. Hoping he would go away. So I am half ass listening to him, then, not caring that he was talking to a woman who wasn’t really paying attention…He leans over all pervy like, put his hand on my arm and whispers to me:

“Soooo…are you a member of the mile high club?”

To which my response was “No, I normally fly Northwest” dead serious.
He giggled like I was kidding…I wasn’t. I had no idea what he was talking about. Why does this dude care if I collect frequent flyer miles? Idiot. Thennnn it hit me…wait! What the hell did he just ask me!?

Me: Are you married? (Looking at the ring on his left hand)

Him: well ya

Me: Is your wife picking you up from the airport?

Him: Umm, why?

Me: What the fuck are you doing talking to me? Seriously? Get back in your seat over there or I will make this the worst flight of your life, and will be sure to introduce myself to her at baggage claim.

It’s amazing…A) how completely oblivious and ditzy I can be sometimes and B) how fast a dude can get back in his seat when he realizes I am not as cool as I look.

We give him 1.5 Truck Nutz...for the effort.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Gym Watch Guy - match.com GEM

SNGLEBOY


What time is it you ask ladies? Oh well according to my watch - its a quarter past my gayness...and I'm late!


Quality Man 4 Quality Woman


• 36-year-old man


• Oak Brook, Illinois, United States


• seeking women 21-45


• in Oak Brook, Illinois, United States


Relationships: Never Married


Have kids: No


Want kids: Not sure


Ethnicity: • White / Caucasian


Body type: Athletic and toned


Height: 6'0" (183cms)


Religion: Christian / Other


Smoke: No Way


Drink: Social Drinker




In my own words


for fun:


I have Played High Level sports. Football and Wrestling. I have also been in Martial Arts most of my life. I Played Hockey for a long time and I still Ice Skate, For me to Ice Skate is a Blast! I Also love to Ride my Motorcycles in the Summer. CODE for still think its 1985 and I toss around the football like Uncle Rico


my education:


I went to College on a Full Football and Wrestling scholarship. I graduated with my B. A. and Masters in Anti-Aging Medicine.


favorite hot spots:


I really love California, Colorado, and Tropical Islands and beach's. Traveling to Italy and Ireland are 2 of my favorite places to travel abroad.
who the fuck took this picture for you! they are not your friend!


favorite things:


Favorite Food Italian. I like a wide variety of Movies, The Departed, God Fellas, Casino, Sex In The City, The Shawshank Redemption, The God Father, Brian's Song Dirty Dancing, The Titanic, Ghost, About last Night, Zoolander and many others. Dirty Dancing and Ghost..no shit. Huh never woulda guessed.




                           1985...1987....1987 black and white.....way to keep the guido mullet. Thats commitment! Your anti-ageing efforts are paying off sir. And by anti ageing do you mean embracing the 80's?


last read:


Longevity Magazines and Books.


ummmmmm I dont even know. I am Italian...and he is a douche. I dont know one Italian who would admit to taking a picture like this.



Step 1 Take off pants
Step 2 Punch walls
Step 3 Fix walls before Mom gets home
Step 4 Get camera with timer out
Step 5 Take pictures of myself and slap em all over the internet
Step 6 Masturbate to Dirty Dancing poster of Patrick Swayze


About my life and what I'm looking for


Can you spot a great guy right away?....... If so, look no further!!


I am ambitious and passionate, but I hide it under a calm, easy-going exterior. I’m at the top of my game, with new ventures on the horizon, but somethings missing, a love in my life. Now I’m ready to find my life partner.


I am a friendly, fun, guy who realizes the value of his existence. I enjoy working out, ice skating, inline skating, and going to movies and concerts.


I take very good care of myself from a health stand point and I like the healthy lifestyle. I like to do a variety of things and like it when I have a special someone with me, to do all those things. I am looking for a woman who takes care of herself and is respectful of her appearance. One who has an intellectual side, who is fun, caring and has an exciting personality. I want a woman who realizes life is better together than alone. Iam looking for something more meaningful hopefully leading to something solid. Iam a fun easy going down to earth guy. Iam easy to get along with and I dont let much get me down. I dont like drama and I avoid it anyway I can. I like to live my life to its fullest everyday. If you’re looking for a man who will give you love, respect, and undying faith, please respond with a hello.


About me


Hair: Dark brown


Eyes: Blue


Sports and exercise: • Auto racing / Motorcross


• Billiards / Pool


• Bowling


• Football


• Hockey


• In-line skating


• Martial arts


• Other types of exercise


• Skiing


• Swimming


• Walking / Hiking


• Weights / Machines


• Yoga


Exercise habits: Exercise 3-4 times per week


Interests: • Book club/Discussion


• Business networking


• Camping


• Coffee and conversation


• Dining out


• Exploring new areas


• Museums and art


• Nightclubs/Dancing


• Playing sports


• Watching sports


• Wine tasting


Education: Graduate degree


Occupation: Self-Employed / Entrepreneur


Income: No Answer


Languages: • English


Politics: Middle of the Road


Sign: Capricorn


Pets I have: No Answer


Pets I like: • Cats


• Dogs


• Horses


About my date


Hair: No Answer


Eyes: No Answer


Height: 5'0" (152cms) to 5'9" (175cms)


Body type: • Athletic and toned


• Curvy


• Slender


Languages: No Answer


Ethnicity: No Answer


Faith: No Answer


Education: No Answer


Job: No Answer


Income: No Answer


Smoke: No Answer


Drink: No Answer


Relationships: No Answer


Have kids: No Answer


Want kids: No Answer


He emailed me several times...I ignored the first 5 emails like this one...


From: SNGLEBOY (SNGLEBOY@talkmatch.com)

To: ria1001 (ria1001@talkmatch.com)
Date received: June 24, 2009
Subject: Hi


Do you have something against me?





then I politely said:
Thank you for the emails but I just started seeing someone and would like to see how it goes.
Good luck!
Thank you,
"Malina"
to which his response was....


From: SNGLEBOY (SNGLEBOY@talkmatch.com)
To: riafdsklfjdlslfds@talkmatch.com)
Date received: June 24, 2009
Subject: NONE


I see, so what happens if this new thing does not workout? As you know it may very well not workout?


From: ria1001 (hdjkalda@talkmatch.
To: SNGLEBOY (SNGLEBOY@talkmatch.com)

Date received: July 14, 2009
Subject: RE: Hi
 
What the hell is that supposed to mean? nevermind. You are a fucking douche. Leave me alone.
 
From: SNGLEBOY (SNGLEBOY@talkmatch.com)

To: fhjdsjfldslfjcdlasjf@talkmatch.com)
Date received: July 14, 2009
Subject: Hi


Good Morning, So what did you mean in your last message? Iam not sure what you were trying to say? Jimmy




OH MY GOD....I would bet he is still "SNGLE"

He gets 4.5 Truck Nutz for his douchiness

lookinforaRN another Match.com GEM!

lookinforaRN


Heyyyyy....Three Finger Bang ma selfffff!
1 IN A 100 MILLION SHOT IN SEARCH OF AN R. N.


Active over 3 weeks ago


• 35-year-old man


• Chicago, Illinois, United States


• seeking women 25-31


• in Chicago, Illinois, United States


Relationships: Never Married


Have kids: No


Want kids: Definitely


Ethnicity: • Other


• White / Caucasian


Body type: Athletic and toned


Height: 5'9" (175cms)


Religion: Christian / Catholic


Smoke: No Way


Drink: Social Drinker




In my own words


for fun:


LOVE TO COOK, AFTER MY MOTHER, MOST HER DISHES. I USUALLY COOK FOR 60. MEATBALLS 5LBS SAUSAGE W/ GREEN PEPPERS 10LBS EGGPLANT 5LBS BRAUSHALL 10LBS. OOH & DON'T FORGET THE SAUCE & BREAD ! GREAT W/ CHILDREN & MUSIC. READY TO EAT? good to know....


my job:


1-1 ME TO FIND OUT WHAT I DO. code for UNEMPLOYED


my ethnicity:


READ MY PROFILE


my religion:


I AM CATHOLIC


my education:


I CAN DEBATE WITH OTHERS ON A JOKING LEVEL - - - AS LONG AS THEY WANT TO DO THE SAME.


favorite hot spots:


THE ROOF TO MY APARTMENT COMPLEX WHICH OVERVIEWS CHICAGO'S LAKEFRONT & THE SKYLINE.  yaaaa pictures of your bulidings banquet room dont count.


favorite things:


ITALIAN COOKING IS PASSED DOWN IN TRADITION ok...kinda explains the mystery pot of sauce, but it still don't make it right.


last read:


MEN'S HEALTH FOR GREAT NEW COOKING IDEAS did they say anything about putting a shirt on?


About my life and what I'm looking for


OK LADIES (PORTO RICAN OR ASIAN ONLY) funny....I am neither, but he still decided to "wink" at me. Also I am not familiar with PORTO RICANS? is that near PORTO RICO?


HERE YOU ARE A 1 N A 100 MILLION SHOT THE OLDEST MOST RESPECTED VIRGIN (& NEVER BEEN KISSED EITHER) no shit. IN ALL THE INTERNET SITES LOOKING FOR HIS MATCH A "LEO FEMALE" OR CLOSE. MOST MEN ARE PIGS OR A HI PERCENTAGE OF THEM. I ALSO SEE THAT MATURE WOMEN ARE NOT ONLY MUCH SMARTER THEN MEN & SEXIER BUT DESERVE NOT THE SAME RESPECT IN RETURN BUT MORE. YOU NEED AN ATTITUDE TO GET THAT RESPECT YOU WANT --STAND YOUR GROUND-- BE A QUEEN BEE TO JERKS TO GET THE RESPECT YOU DESERVE, BE STUCK UP LIKE HELL, DON'T GIVE A *** ! THERE'S A LOT ABOUT ME YOU DON'T KNOW YET BUT HERE'S
wow...your a mysterious creature sir, HOW have you stayed single?
A HINT THE VIEW FROM MY 12TH FLOOR STUDIO, HAS A SPECTACULAR SHOW OF LIGHTING WHEN A THUNDERSTORM OCCURS -WHEN YOU KNOW THE REST - WELL IT MAY SOMETHING THAT AS YOU REVEAL IT ALL LITTLE BY LITTLE, IT MAY JUST BE MORE THAN YOU ARE LOOKING FOR IN LIFE. I HAVE SOMETHING IN STORE THAT IS THE MAIN REASON PERTAINING TO MY SCREEN NAME. I HAVE EPILEPSY ALSO KNOWN AS SEIZURES, I'VE HAD THIS CONDITION ALL OF MY LIFE. Dont get pissed about me making fun of him people, EPILEPSY has NO PART in his weirdness! THE MAIN PURPOSE OF NOT ONLY TO LOOK FOR A LOYAL PARTNER BUT WHO ALSO HAS SUCH KNOWLEDGE AS WELL AS EXPERTISE IN THIS AREA. MY SEIZURES ARE NOW STABLE 90% OF THE TIME BUT MY ONLY FLAW IS WHEN I'M IN PUBLIC & HAVE ONE, I'M UNABLE TO SPEAK DO TO THAT IT MAKES ME INCAPABLE TO DO SO NO MATTER WHAT TYPE OF SEIZURE TAKES PLACE. THIS IS WHERE THE PROFESSION OF A R. N. WOULD BE OF ASST.


& IF THIS MAY BE OF ANY SUCH FINANCIAL BENEFIT ON YOUR BEHALF AS A CERTIFIED R. N. THEN WE MAY DISCUSS THAT FURTHER FROM A PROF. BUSINESS STAND POINT @ THAT POINT IN TIME WHEN WE 1-1. I believe when you mix "DATING" and "FINANCIAL BENEFIT" that equals "PROSTITUTION"


IF I AM NOT WHAT IS IN THE ABOVE STATEMENTS - YOU CAN DO AS YOU MAY NO STRINGS ATTACHED---IF I AM ALL I SAY I AM, YOU ARE WILLING TO SHARE EVERYTHING LIFE HAS TO OFFER, THEN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE! EQUALITY, LOYALTY, RESPECT, DIGNITY, & WISDOM, ALONG W/ TO TREAT YOU THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED..... LIKE A WORK OF ART & BEAUTY FOR LIFE, YOU ARE TO BE RESPECTED, LOVED, & IN PARADISE FOR LIFE! A SHOT TO TEST YOURSELF & "TESTIFY TO LOVE" FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH TO GET WHAT YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR & DESERVE IN LIFE!!!!!! IF YOUR INTERESTED, I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU, I'LL BE ANXIOUSLY AWAITING YOUR REPLY!!!


About me


Hair: Dark blonde


Eyes: Brown


Sports and exercise: • Bowling


• Running


• Walking / Hiking


• Weights / Machines


Exercise habits: Exercise 1-2 times per week


Interests: • Cooking


• Music and concerts


• Playing cards


• Travel/Sightseeing


• Wine tasting


Education: High school


Occupation: Other profession


Income: Less Than $25,000


Languages: • English


Politics: Middle of the Road


Sign: Virgo


Pets I have: No Answer


Pets I like: • Cats


About my date


Hair: • Black


• Dark brown


Eyes: • Brown


• Black


Height: 5'2" (157cms) to 5'7" (170cms)


Body type: • Athletic and toned


• Slender


Languages: • Chinese


• English


• Italian


• Spanish


Ethnicity: • Asian


• Latino / Hispanic


Faith: • Christian / Catholic


Education: • PhD / Post Doctoral


Job: • Legal


• Medical / Dental / Veterinary


Income: • $50,001 to $75,000


• $100,001 to $150,000


Smoke: • No Way


Drink: • Social Drinker


Relationships: • Never Married


Have kids: • No


Want kids: • Someday

He gets 4 Truck Nutz (.5 less than Gym watch guy because he didnt send me stupid emails)

Shrimping....I didnt even know what that meant...thank you urban dictionary.




In my own words
for fun:
I love old cars, long romantic walks & talks, dinning out, movies. Last but not least, I love to hug, kiss Kiss & cuddle!! I also give a great foot massage!!!
favorite hot spots:
There are so many great places to go in Chicago that its hard to pick just one! I would like to go on a cruise some day! I think it would make a great Honey Moon!
favorite things:
My favorite thing to eat is Cheese Burgers & pizza, Favorite Colors are Green & Burgandy Favorite thing to do when it's raining outside, making love to you!!!
last read:
I enjoy reading my car club magazines.
About my life and what I'm looking for
I'm a SWM, 43, 6' 2", 200 lbs., Solid Build, who is looking for a woman between 25 & 52, slim to medium build, who is a hopeless romantic & who is looking for a relationship leading to marriage! I love women with BIG FEET!! I LOVE SHRIMPING!! So if you have a shoe size of 10 or LARGER, that is a BIG PLUS!!
About me
Hair: Dark brown
Eyes: Hazel
Best Feature: Eyes
Body Art: • None
Sports and exercise:
• Walking / Hiking
• Bowling
Exercise habits: No Answer
Daily diet: • Meat and potatoes
Interests: • Alumni connections
• Coffee and conversation
• Dining out
• Movies/Videos
• Music and concerts
• Political
• Religion/Spiritual
• Shopping/Antiques
Education: No Answer
Occupation: Other profession
Income: No Answer
Languages: • English
Politics: Middle of the Road
Sign: Sagittarius
My Place: No Answer
Pets I have: • Cats
• Dogs
Pets I like: No Answer
About my date
Hair: No Answer
Eyes: No Answer
Height: 5'6" (168cms) to 8'0" (244cms)
Body type: • About average
• Athletic and toned
• Curvy
• Slender
Languages: No Answer
Ethnicity:
• Black / African descent
• Latino / Hispanic
• White / Caucasian
Faith: • Christian / Catholic
• Christian / LDS
• Christian / Protestant
• Christian / Other
Education: No Answer
Job: No Answer
Income: No Answer
Smoke: • No Way
Drink: • Social drinker, maybe one or two
Relationships: • Never Married
• Widowed
• Divorced
Have kids: • none
Want kids: • Not sure
Turn-ons: • Candlelight
• Erotica
• Flirting
• Long hair
• Skinny dipping
• Thunderstorms
Turn-offs: • Body piercings
• Boldness / Assertiveness
• Power
• Sarcasm
• Tattoos

He gets 2.5 Truck Nutz...can blame a guy for havin a fetish, at least he was honest.